The Adventures of Bug Boy and the Treehouse Adventure (Part 1)

   

Introduction:

This is Part 1 of The Adventures of Bug Boy and the Treehouse Adventure! The main Character is Hayden Lee. Hayden Lee is the best prankster in the whole of Oregon. You might remember him as Isabella's little brother from The Silent Girl and as Clara's young cousin from That Math Girl!

                                                                                                                      -Mei Makes and An Makes

    Ni Hao! Hello! My name is Hayden Lee. You probably think that I am of age because I have such an impressive title, but I am actually much younger. Can you guess? You are probably dying to know if you answered right, so I might tell you. I might. I won’t. Actually I will, but you better not tell anyone. Are you ready for it? Here it is. I am 6 years old. I live in a big house, and it sure is cramped! (Even though it is gigantic) Hey, maybe I should play a prank on the cows, I can stuff all the cows into one, cramped stall! Hmm… maybe I’ll write that in my bug book, where I keep all my fabulous, wondrously, enthusiastically, great ideas!!!!! In case you're wondering where I learned all those amazing words, you’ll have to read more to find out! Awesome, right?
I have an annoying big sister who is 9. My big sister is named Isabella. Isabella and Clara, one of my cousins who is 8, hangout together all the time. Isabella loves to talk and Clara is always eating some snacks. The best thing about Clara is that she always has snacks in her hair or somewhere that she lets me eat if I ask really nicely and Isabella agrees. I also have a big brother named Austin and Austin is 11 years old. Austin and Malachi (Malachi is my big male cousin. Malachi is 12 years old) don’t talk very much because they are always sitting at our “sewing table” pouring over all of this weird medal stuff. They even made a robot once and got TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS from the fair during last summer! Ye Ye (my grandpa), my dad, and my uncle always carve something out of wood and submit that. One time, they received FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS EACH! Nai Nai (my grandma), my mom, and my aunt submit quilts, other sewing stuff that aren’t worth mentioning, and flowers. They almost always get ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS EVERY SUMMER IN ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ava (My older female cousin who is 14 years old, obsessed in electronics, and like a tomboy.) submits robots and plants every year. Clara and Isabella submit cheesecake, other baked goods, sewing stuff, and they used to submit fruit but Clara eats them all up now! Isabella also sends drawings but Clara is horrible at drawing, so Clara doesn’t do it. They earn about EIGHTY DOLLARS EACH! Meanwhile, I submit Legos and I just get 30 dollars every summer. (Not fair at ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I am starting kindergarten tomorrow. I am hoping that I will have a nice teacher because I am bad at English and I don’t know what to do. (I write a copy in Chinese and all of the girls help translate it to English. The one you are reading is the version that Isabella, Clara, and Ava put together.) I also hope that my teacher will like bugs as much as I do. Nai Nai is terrified of bugs and doesn’t let me bring them to my room. (sometimes I sneak these green little caterpillars into my room in my shoe.) Ava is starting High School. Isabella and Clara are in fourth grade. Clara is too young, but she is so good at math, so she skipped kindergarten. NOT FAIR!!!! Malachi is in seventh grade and Austin is in sixth grade. 
Right now I am going outside to play the prank on the cows. So funny! If I say I did it, Nai Nai says she’ll give me a dollar for honesty, but once, when I played a prank on her, and I put peanut butter in her chair, she gave me the dollar because I told her, and took back the dollar, because she said that was very naughty of me. Even if I don’t actually get any money, it’s still so funny! 
I arrived at the cow stall now, but it turns out that Clara is milking the cows, so I can’t try to stuff them all into the same stall. She’s looking around now, but she probably didn’t hear me, cause I’m the Prank Superstar! I quietly crept to the nearest cow stall, whispering, “Tip-toe, tip-toe, tip-toe,” the whole way. I opened the cow stall door, but suddenly I was struck by a thought. “I need to get my Super-sneak sneakers, so that I won’t get caught!” I cried out loud. Clara came rushing into the stall, holding a pitchfork, pointing it at me. 
“Uh, back off, Pitchfork person,” I said. Clara gave me an offended look, and said teasingly, “Are you being a Prank Person again?” This time it was my turn to shoot her an offended look. “Hey, Pitch, you wanna know something? Well of course you wanna know something. Well, that something is… glitter bomb!” I threw a glitter bomb at her, let myself get a good laugh, and then quickly broke into a sprint. After all, a super prankster never comes unprepared! 
I huffed and puffed myself onto a tree, (climbing trees had been passed down from Isabella to me) and finally, when I reached the top, I sat down on my bum, relaxed, and farted. The noise sent all the birds flying for their lives! I smiled satisfied, took out my birdhorn, and said through it, “I am Hayden Lee. Come back, my feathered friends!” The birds stared at me with their beady eyes, for approximately one minute, and then they quickly flocked back to me. “ Did you bring us any yummy treats?” the youngest bird, a finch named Bugsy, asked me. “You don't even have to ask me, just hop into my pockets and up we’ll go!” I said.
All the birds hopped into my pockets, and then, after their bellies were full, they hopped out. Then they had their play time, but I could barely contain my impatience. It was almost time to fly!  After what seemed like a decade or to, the oldest birds hopped up to my hands, grasping my long fingers with their claws. The strongest birds hopped onto my head, as they tried to grab as much hair as possible, and they even grabbed some skin! The young birds and adults, about 100 of those birds, perched themselves on my feet. Some crawled onto my pants, so that they could billow in the wind. There was only one bird remaining. It was Bugsy, my best friend. He always flew next to me, because I liked to see him flit here and there, and on the rides I took, he would always tell me all the pieces of conversation that the wind carried. 
The birds started flapping their wings, and we were off!  I tensed, which ALWAYS happened, so annoying, but I soon felt the small breeze go through me, and I imagined I too, was a bird. I looked around, and saw the birds panting, so I unzipped my secret pocket in the inside of my tan-colored bug vest, and threw some jewel beetles. The birds caught it with easy grace, and I saw Bugsy catch up to us. 
“Guess what!” He called, starting to try to find a spot that wasn’t sticky. (Bees loved me just as much as Bugsy and they literally threw honey at my head, hoping it would land in my mouth.) “I saw a patch of jewel beetles, and ate two of them. There over at the duck pond, still scampering around. Tee-hee!” He giggled, and laughed, and cackled his booming Hyena cackle. I cackled my human cackle, which wasn’t very scary. But guess what! Nai Nai had told me that when I grew up, I could be anything I wanted to be. So, I decided that when I did grow up, I would be a cackle Kakapo! You may be wondering what a Kakapo is, but I’m not going to tell you. Fine. I will. So, ahem, a Kakapo is a flightless parrot that looks like a chicken, and a giant Budgerigar. Ha! You don’t even know what a Budgerigar is! I know more then you do, I know more then you do!
We finally landed at the duck pond, and the birds, exhausted, went to drink some water. I collected some Jewel beetles, and put three of them in my Bug Habitat, that was as big as me, and I let the birds eat the rest of them. Then I crouched down to the Jewel Beetles and whispered a secret. Do you want to know what the secret was? Well, of course you do! The secret is that I told them what a Budgerigar is! Okay, fine. I know you are all begging to know what in the world a Budgerigar is, and fine. I’ll tell you. But only if you pinkie-promise that I can have 1,000,000 chocolate blueberry dots! (that’s from our local candy shop, Whagawantin) So you better rush there to my house with about five giant trucks of Whagawantin Chocolate Blueberry dots! 
Fine. I’ll tell you for ten dollars, and, if you are very lucky, you should go to the shed and get my homemade fishing pole. You have to go wherever Clara is (probably in the kitchen) and try to find some of those chocolate blueberry dots in her hair, and fish them out with the fishing pole. Actually, you only need to give me 100 blueberry dots, which is one big bag of blueberry dots, coming straight from Whagawantin! 
Anyway, enough about chocolate blueberry dots, Bugsy just told me that he had overheard my grandma (Bugsy only speaks in bird language, so he says grandma, not Nai Nai) tell all the other grown-ups, and Ava (cause she was in high school) that we were going to move. What! I almost peed in my pants, and I pee in my pants when I’m really surprised! (Don’t tell anyone.) “but… but… but what about you, are you going to come to?” 
“Well, of course I’m going to come, I can hide in your pocket.” 
“Where are we moving?”
“To Cedar Creek, Wyoming.”
“Where in the world of Wyoming is that?”
“How am I supposed to know? I don’t even know where Wyoming is!” Bugsy gave me a grumpy look.
“Hey, it’s not my fault that you don’t know!”
“Yes it is, you never bothered to tell me!”
“Fine! Then I just won’t tell you! I was going to, but if you're going to act like it’s all my fault, well then that’s just rude!” 
I gave Bugsy a sharp glare, and headed off, carrying the foldable Bug Habitat in my pants pocket. 
Bugsy is the best. Almost always the best. When Bugsy isn’t the best, he is the worst. I grumbled, and stomped my foot. Then I stomped my other foot. 
            Then, I let out an ear-piercing scream, that made someone else scream, and that someone else’s scream made me laugh my butt of. It turned out that Nai Nai had screamed. Uh, oh.That meant trouble for me because Nai Nai would tell Ye Ye and Ye Ye would actually give me a huge spanking. He would spank me, no doubt about it. 
            Then, when my dad heard that I was being spanked, he would spank me even harder. Or worse. Everybody else would punish me too. Ava wouldn’t let me play video games on her phone and wouldn’t let me access all of the devices we had. Malachi and Austin wouldn’t let me into their robot room. Isabella wouldn’t let me climb trees. Clara wouldn’t give me any snacks from her hair. Only Bugsy may be loyal. 
I think I might need to run away, then I wouldn’t be spanked. But then, I would still be punished by everyone else because I wouldn’t be able to do those things if I left. The thought of losing these entertainments made me decide not to leave. Then I thought of Bugsy. It was his fault that I was in trouble. His fault that I would be spanked. I jumped up, and grabbed a branch. I was going to give Bugsy a piece of my mind! 
Well, I was going to give Bugsy a piece of my mind, until the annoying Isabella girl popped her head out of the tree. She had been spying on me from her hidden tree house that she wouldn't let anyone else in! Not even Clara, who was her very best friend! I clenched my teeth, ready to throw a unicorn fart rainbow glitter bomb! To Late. 
At first, I didn’t realize that I was being hoisted into the air, feet first. I was too busy thinking about how extraordinary I was to get the limited edition, prank mania, Unicorn Fart Rainbow Glitter bomb! I was smiling goofily, when I suddenly felt all my blood rush to my head.
Uh-oh, Isabella was holding onto my legs, and my head was dangling over the branches! If she let go, I would crash into branches, and break my skull! I was about to let out a scream, when Isabella, seeming to know what I was going to do, smiled mischievously, and let go one of my feet, so I was tipping. I understood that if I screamed, she would drop me! I grumbled, and remembered this was all Bugsy’s fault. I wanted to scream at Bugsy, but I knew then I would fall to my doom.
For some reason Isabella hauled me up, and made me climb higher. “It’s time I showed you something,” she whispered spookily. She looked down, to make sure no one was following us, for Austin turned out to be a hilarious snoop, who would burst into laughter after five minutes of stalling someone. After she made sure Austin wasn’t following us, she told me to keep on climbing. I did, because I thought it would be great fun to throw a Unicorn Fart Rainbow Glitter bomb in her face, once we arrived at wherever we were going. I tried practicing throwing the bomb, but I was too tired to make a single sound, and the truth was, I was even too tired to muster enough strength to get out some of those bombs from my pocket.
“Hey! What are you guys doing? ISABELLA!? Don’t you be doing mischief too.” Austin said, glaring at Isabella. “And you, Hayden. You don’t dare drop a bo-” I interrupted him, a crafty grin building on my face. While he had been talking, I had used my last ounce of strength to grab a Unicorn Fart Rainbow Glitter bomb from my pocket. Then, wham! It dropped from my hand, landing with a “splat!” on Austin's face. 
Isabella flashed a grateful smile at me, and quickly moved on, but she grabbed my hands, pulling me along with her. “Uh…,” I moaned, annoyed. I could still climb, I wasn’t a toy to be dragged around! I considered biting Isabella’s hands, but thought better of it. After all, right now I was just hanging from Isabella, and if I bit her hands, I would drop and probably crash into one of the branches below. 
Isabella moved a quick, but steady pace, and soon it felt kind of like flying with the birds, except for the part when I scraped into the branches. I was only starting to enjoy the steady rhythm of moving higher when Isabella suddenly shouted, We’re here!” 
Huh? Oh right, Isabella was going to show me something. I realized my eyes had been closed, and quickly opened them again, to see a magnificent rope ladder stretching out next to me. It had long, wooden slabs stringed together, and rope tied together on the sides, and held up by long, skinny poles of twisted wire, to make a handle rail. “This is The Rope-braid,” Isabella told me. “It stretches out in a circle to surround the whole property, but stays hidden through the lush greenery. It’s held up by trees, and at least a mile long. I don’t know who made it, but I still think it's awesome.”
I thought it was awesome too. I was about to go on it, to test its strength, but Isabella saw me step forward, and pulled me back. “ I made a vow to never go on it,” she told me, “before I throw a…” “Unicorn Fart Rainbow Glitter Bomb!” she finished, throwing a unicorn fart rainbow glitter bomb at the exact same time she said that. Pieces of tiny fruit sprinkled with edible glitter falling off the fruit, and I stuck out my tongue to get a taste of it. Then came my favorite part: an exploding sound interrupted my tasting of the glittery fruit, and puffs of purple smoke floated out. Then, another exploding sound followed, and giant chunks of fruit fell from the sky. I smiled, happy.
“Lets go now,” Isabella said. “I have something else to show you, but I want it to be a surprise.” I groaned. I hated surprises, surprises were on my “absolutely no, no” list of things that I absolutely despised. “Fine,” I grumbled. We climbed higher, and Isabella grabbed a little silver key from her pocket, inserting it into a hole on the handle rail that I hadn’t noticed before.  
We stepped toward the bridge. I teetered one way. I wobbled the other way. I wanted to ask Isabella, “Uh, are you sure this is safe?” But I knew I would sound like a baby, so I just started teetering and tottering my way to the bridge.
Isabella was a lot faster than me, she was already a few meters on the bridge when I hadn’t even stepped onto the bridge yet, I was just teetering my way over to the bridge. I was annoyed that she was being super fast, so I dug out a Unicorn Fart Rainbow Glitter bomb, and aimed at her head, pulling back my arm, and hitting her square in the booty. 
Oops. Big mistake! Some of the glittery fruit bits slid into her pants, and she started jumping up and yelling and pulling her hair like a maniac. Although I knew it was very impolite, I couldn’t help laughing. Laughing turned into guffawing, and guffawing turned into crying. Although I wasn’t in the mood for crying, I just couldn’t help it. Laughter sometimes turned into tears, if you laughed too hard. Although I made snorting noises, my pig-sound, (that's what I nick-named laughter) the pig-sound was blocked out by the deafening “wah-wah-wah” coming from my crying. I could hear Isabella’s hysterics softening, and I saw her rush to me. “Huh, why are you running toward me like the maniac that you are?” I asked her.
“Cause you were crying, so I had to comfort you!” Isabella said in an annoyed voice. “Are you even hurt?” she asked bitterly. “Yes, but you're the most funny person in the world,” I said happily, pretending not to notice she was mad. “It's so funny to watch you dance like a maniac.” FYI, (FYI stands for For Your Information) you don’t know what a maniac is! Do you know how I know that? Cause I know everything! Ha, ha, ha, you know nothing, I know everything! So now I’m gonna tell Isabella that!
“Look, I am totally hurt, but I know I’m hurt, because you know nothing and I know everything,” I lied. Then I started to pretend to cry. “Wah, wah, wah, I bumped my shoulder against the giant tree over there!” I pointed to a big oak tree over to the side. Then I secretly dug into my pocket, making sure my mini bottle of ketchup from Fela-Fun (The hour-away fast food restaurant that I went to every time it was my birthday) was still there, and said to Isabella, “My shoulder is bleeding, so I need to get some water to wipe it.” 
I happily accepted the fact that Isabella let me go “wipe” my “bleeding shoulder.” Of course, I didn’t actually get hurt, it was just that I wanted to play one of my infamous pranks on Isabella, but first I needed to smear some ketchup onto my shoulder so it looked like I was bleeding. It would be so funny!
Of course, I would hurry back right away to see the surprise Isabella wanted to show me, but not without taking the chance to play a prank on her! Why, there is no such thing as Hayden Lee not taking every chance to play a prank. Like, which Hayden Lee would do that!? It's CRA-zy! 
I knew it was also kind of crazy to play pranks, but I didn’t care. Hayden Lee only cares about his pranks! (Well, at least I only care about pranks, I don’t know about the other Hayden Lee’s in the world) I should probably get going with this prank!
I started climbing down the tree, but with only one arm so that Isabella would think that my shoulder was hurt. She quickly rushed down to where I was, and said, “No, no, you shouldn’t climb with one arm. It’s not safe for little boys like you. Here, I’ll carry you down.” I was offended when she called me little, but I jovially climbed onto her back. 
The ride down was kind of fun, and I enjoyed the airy breeze that ruffled my hair in the hot summer air. It made me feel… nice somehow, and I relished the blissful sound of Isabella huffing and puffing, a very satisfying sound indeed. (Hey… I think I’m getting a lot better at writing…)
I kept the sound of Isabella laboring in my ears, for I knew it would end soon. Sure enough, Isabella soon stopped huffing. I was so disappointed when Isabella stopped making her huffing and puffing sounds, but I was pleased as punch when she started panting. Finally my fun little tree ride ended.
My tree ride ended when Isabella bonked her head on a low branch. Isabella bonked her head on a low branch when I called out “Yee-hah!” I called out, “Yee-hah” when I saw a stampede of horses running past. The stampede of horses ran past us when three Mustangs ran after them with giant lassos circling above their heads. The Mustangs ran after the horses when they saw a giant stallion running into the woods. 
Now, I could go on droning about why Isabella bonked her head, but at that moment I was falling down the tree, crashing through branches, and I had a mouth full of pine needles, so I had more pressing problems to worry about. I tried to catch a branch like Isabella always did, but it was no use! I’m not saying I wasn’t as good at climbing trees as Isabella was, but sometimes I had some technical difficulties. Of course, as I always say, how could I not be prepared for any pranking problem!?
Well, some people aren’t prepared, but I was. I reached into my pocket with all the Unicorn Fart Rainbow Glitter bombs, and grabbed out a lasso, not as big as the mustang lassos, but of a decent size. I was about to lasso a branch, but I was too late. “Crack!” The last thing I saw was a red liquid drizzling down my face before everything blacked out...

Stay Tuned for Part 2. In the meantime, check out the rest of the blog!